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Avert your eyes

Do you ever just read something and cringe for the author? This “excellent resource on home-schooling” is just so embarrassing it hurts. Poor Katie Criss, or rather, poor Katie Criss’s grammar, logic, and writing teachers. There is so much to write about the horridness of this article. In addition to the poor grammar and sad abuse of punctuation, she keeps mentioning “her research,” but never once sites said research.

Let’s exam her opening salvo:

Educators, Parents, Students lend me your ears, my name is Katie Criss and I am going to discuss home schooling with you. Currently (comma) there is a very heated debate over the issue of Home (A common noun not beginning a sentence is not capitalized.) schooling in America. Today(Comma, Katie!) I am going to present you with my views on this critical subject. When I say “my views”(Were you traumatized by a comma as a child?) I’m not going to stick my finger in the air to see what way the wind is blowing with this issue of home schooling. (Did you ever read a sentence that just wouldn’t stop and contained about seven thousand prepositional phrases and just made you want to scream?) I know there are two sides, and supporters of both.. (Although “both” indicates two of a thing, it doesn’t require two period.) Rather I am going to present to you my viewpoints with opinion and research on why I am a critic of home schooling. (Synonym: A word having the same or nearly the same meaning as another word or other words in a language, for example: “viewpoint” and “opinion.”)

What a cumbersome, obnoxious start. I can’t wait to read more!

When I asked myself the question, How do you feel about home schooling? I first thought “Why would anyone do that” So I researched exactly that, What are the reasons that people give of why they choose to homeschool and how valid are they.

Perhaps the concept of punctuation befuddles our poor Katie. Proper usage of quotation marks, commas, periods and question marks seems to be beyond her grasp. (Yes, Katie dear, that is correct subject/verb agreement: “proper usage seems.” The prepositional phrase with the list of marks modifies the subject “usage” and not the verb.)

Okay, I’m going to stop before I get carried away and edit the whole stupid thing (which the proofreader in me is dying to do.)
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Katie promises research to back up her hatred of homeschooling, but the best she can do is a handful of tragic anecdotes. Note the difference, Katie. Research: diligent and systematic inquiry or investigation into a subject in order to discover or revise facts, theories, applications, etc. Anecdote: A short account of an interesting or humorous incident.

Finally, Shakespeare is sacred to some lovers of words. When you adapt him, the least you can do is make it relevant. For example, here Dana’s shows how it’s done. It’s beautiful and grammatically correct. (You did know that your introduction was ripping off the Bard, right?) Here’s another fun response is Omega mom (there’s a *ahem* word at the end of her post, for the faint of eyes.)

I’m embarrassed for you, Katie. I really am. But even more, I’m embarrassed for your presumably public school teachers.

ht: the lovely and talented Dana at Principled Discovery. Read her response, it’s better.

4 responses to “Avert your eyes”

  1. Dana Avatar

    Grammar and logical flow of thought did seem to be a challenge for her.

    You should read the one she wrote on ADHD. Tortured. Truly tortured.

    At least you don’t have to teach preschoolers about commas, but I hope she at leasts gets some basic logic going before taking over a classroom.

  2. April Avatar

    She’s like one of those painfully bad American Idol contestants that think they can sing. Someone, somewhere must have told her she could write. That someone was either unspeakably cruel or an idiot. Or an unspeakably cruel idiot.

  3. Marcy Muser Avatar
    Marcy Muser


    THANK YOU! You did what I was longing to do all the way through Katie’s article – endeavor to repair at least some of the serious errors in grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. You’ve used good humor and correct grammar, and you’ve pointed out one of the other major flaws in her article – the lack of research. Thanks very much.

    Unfortunately for Katie, it would seem her writing does exactly the opposite of what she means it to do. She’s trying to convince us that homeschooling is bad and public schooling is good; in the process, she manages to expose the sad condition of our public education system, without providing any really good reasons not to homeschool.

    Thanks for the discussion. 🙂

  4. April Avatar

    Thanks, Marcy. Full disclosure: I am a product of public schools. But if your are going to slam homeschooling, you might want to proof read your stuff. Her major beef seems to be that homeschoolers miss the prom. Oh, the humanity!

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