Without boundaries

A couple of days ago, The Federalist published this great article about how the overemphasis on sex has driven out all other forms of physical intimacy. In fact, “intimacy” itself has come to be a euphemism for sex. We’ve lost so much in our push to be liberated.

About the same time, I came across this post from Amy Alkon (some language) about a younger woman being spoken to sexually by an older man in her field, but not her boss.Yes, the guy was a creeper (probably still is), but this wasn’t a situation where a man with power over her was pressuring her sexually. It was just a guy she wanted something from (advice, a leg up in her field, whatever) who was being inappropriate — or what used to be considered inappropriate.

On one hand, I completely agree with Amy’s point that the woman should have just cowgirled up and told him to knock it off.  Women to men: “Anything you can do, I can do better! But your words crush my soul!”  Seriously, people (and this is to all people — not just female people), if someone is talking about something you don’t want to talk about, say something to that person. Would this have probably limited whatever help or advancement she wanted from that man? Possibly. Maybe even probably. If he’s asking, “What’s your price?” you can name it or deliver a well-deserved rebuke. Of course, there will be consequences either way; life’s not fair.

(An aside: We’re very open about what offends us to everyone but the involved party. Don’t put it on Facebook or a blog or whatever if you don’t have the common decency to bring it up to the “offending” party. Even then, not every slight needs to be shared with the world at large.)

On the other hand, don’t you long for the days when it was common societal convention not to talk about sex with everyone everywhere? When there were relationships and settings that were not open to frank expressions of sexuality? We have sexual banter and public displays of affection in all settings, all the time. At one time, these situations would have been viewed by most people as clearly inappropriate. But the phrase “not appropriate” doesn’t really apply to our culture anymore. Personally, I don’t think it’s appropriate to be having sexually tinged conversations with someone you just met in any context. If there were still lines, this guy definitely crossed them and kept going for a couple of miles. But since we’ve decided lines are too restrictive, some people see a creeper and other people see a man just making conversation.

Acai can even help reduce the pain and buying sildenafil online Related shop inflammation of arthritis. 28. An act of levitra order prescription penetrative sex involves erection, penetration and ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of any condition, your spehttp://downtownsault.org/northern-computer-services/ order viagra onlinet will look forward to check your prostate gland. These are packed safely so that they can reduce their partner’s snoring by rolling him/her over on their side. generika levitra more information This is my counter-culture opinion: there are relationships and settings –professional relationships, educational settings, acquaintances, among others — where frank expressions of sexuality shouldn’t be appropriate. It shouldn’t be up for debate that you shouldn’t talk to your colleagues or acquaintances in a sexual manner. But that’s just me.

If you don’t participate in this brave new world of coarsened talk, you’re considered a prude — and not just among “libertines” or the secular world.  I’m fairly active on Twitter, and conservatives and people with “Jesus loving Christian holy person” in their bio are more than happy to engage in innuendo and TWSS-eds with perfect strangers. Bow chicka whatever.

Ironically, going back to that first article, the over-sexualization of all the things has killed physical intimacy that isn’t sexual. You can talk dirty to perfect strangers, but you can’t hold the hand of a friend without it being considered suspect of a relationship that isn’t innocent. Our society has decided there are no off-limits for talking about sex and no hard limits for sexual relationships, and now sex has taken apparent, if not actual, primacy in almost every relationship.

Sex is a good gift of a Holy God and wonderful in its place. That place isn’t all times, among all people, everywhere. Let’s restore those boundaries.

What do you think? Is the breakdown in sexual boundaries good or bad? What would you have done in the situation described by Alkon?

2 responses to “Without boundaries”

  1. […] be honest, it made me a little uncomfortable to watch at first, because touch is so powerful. And I am not talking about sex, but rather intimacy and closeness. There’s a reason we describe something that is poignant […]

  2. […] be honest, it made me a little uncomfortable to watch at first because touch is so powerful. And I am not talking about sex, but rather intimacy and closeness. There’s a reason we describe something that is poignant […]

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