Thoughts on bumper stickers

I don’t do bumper stickers. I did when I was young and driving a ’85 Mustang, but then again I did a lot of things then that I wouldn’t do now. But I don’t do bumper stickers.

For one thing, like everyone else, I have occasional moments of driving stupidity. Not usually, but occasionally. And it’s on those occasions that other are likely to notice me and my bumper stickers and equate whatever group or opinion I am supporting through pithy statement with my bad driving.

Another reason is that bumper stickers are slightly–or very–obnoxious. The driver of a bumper stickered car assumes that others care about their affiliations and philosophies. And very often they are sanctimonious and nonsensical. “Practice random acts of kindness.” What does that even mean? Do I drive across town to a business with which I have no connection and pick some stranger to give $10 to? If the goal is to increase kindness, wouldn’t it be more profitable to be purposefully and continually kind to those with which I interact with daily? I’m just sayin’.

And then there’s the stupidly obnoxious stickers. Excluding vitamin cialis online shop A and tetracycline, these pills can interrelate with corticosteroids and anti-seizure pills. Erection is blood’s hydraulic effects- the more your blood genital receives, generic levitra cialis the more erection quality it produces. Herbal supplements for energy and stamina are very much effective to fix these issues very rapidly. cialis viagra generico After all, one of the cialis uk most popular ED medications available on the market. At the library, the car next to me boasted, “My schnauzers are smarter than your honor student.” And yes, there were two yippy dogs in the car. I am wary of people who don’t seem to understand the distinction between animals and people, or who elevate animals above people. So I thought all sorts of uncharitable things about the intelligence and social situations of the woman who would make such a stupid statement. This was probably not the sort of reaction she intended. (For the record, my children aren’t honor students, so I wasn’t inferring a slight against my children. We are home educators and while I’m proud of them, I’m not pathetic. We don’t do school.)

I did once see a bumper sticker that I would have liked to put on my car. But alas, it had fatal flaws.

It was: “Is everyone enjoying their haircuts?”

Obviously, I would have had to correct the grammar, rendering it thusly: “Is everyone enjoying his haircut?” But then that would have upset the she/he/they crowd and I may have suffered from feminist road-rage.

An alternative would be “Are we all enjoying our haircuts?” But somehow that lacks the charm of the grammatically incorrect original.

So, I don’t do bumper stickers.

5 responses to “Thoughts on bumper stickers”

  1. Carrie Avatar

    The bummer sticker was made because the owner of a hair cutting place in NOVA would come in and ask “is everyone enjoying their haircuts.”

    Secondly, I like the use of bummer stickers as an act of civil disobedience. Such as the man that would go around slapping “I’m changing the world ask me how” on to big SUVs and hummers.

  2. April Avatar

    Well, he was grammatically incorrect. Someone should have told him. 😉

    Secondly, in your example, the bumper stickers wouldn’t be on your car, so it doesn’t really apply. I mean, I may think the driver’s obnoxious when I really ought to think you’re obnoxious, but it isn’t exactly the same situation.

  3. Carrie Avatar

    True that. But funny none the less.

  4. B Avatar

    According to a recent grammar class I had, it is correct to use "their" in the singular when trying to avoid the he/she issue. Though it's not the best option, it is a viable one in the politically-correct world.

  5. April Avatar

    It is not correct, it a weaselly wimp out. Numerical agreement is very basic grammar. No namby-pamby political correct cop-out is going to change the fact that "their" is plural and "everyone" is singular.

    And it sounds stupid.

    In the same manner, infer and imply are not interchangeable, whatever the stupid dictionary may say.

    Getting off my grammar high horse, now.

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