I have been in an endless loop of frustration lately. Frustrated that I have too many balls in the air and I keep dropping the damn things on my head. Frustrated about my failings, about the backlog of things that have to be done, and about the list of things I ought to do but know I won’t get around to doing. I’m frustrated with a heavy dose of guilt.

Add to that, I’m peeved at people who aren’t holding up their end of the social contract: not returning calls or emails, not answering questions, not being there when they said they would. I’m dealing with multiple situations where instead of getting an out-and-out “No,” I get no reply at all and am left wondering how to proceed. All this being ignored is giving me an existential complex. “Am I even really here?” I’m even more ticked because it reminds me of the times when I’ve likewise screwed up and am screwing up right now.

Frankly, it’s enough to make a girl want to give up on this whole living in a community thing and move to a cave in the dessert. Unfortunately, I know I couldn’t deal with the creepy crawlies that live in caves. So I have to deal with people.

Ugh. People.

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In this delightful mood, I came across this article about a dad who found himself in an “ugh people” situation and acted like most of us would: he lost his temper, used less than melodious language, and then noticed his six-year-old looking up at him.

It’s what he does next that’s beautiful and convicting and making me pause before sending some emails this morning. (I won’t spoil it, so go read. When you’re done here. I’M STILL WRITING! Sorry, this being ignored thing is really getting to me. You can go read it, just come back, please?)

I’m not going to lie. I’m still frustrated. Nothing about this conviction/revelation about doing the right thing changes the relentless to-do list. But it has made me pause and think about those “ugh, people” people who have their own frustrations, some of which are probably aimed at me. And I also think of my children watching me and learning how to deal with their own frustrations. It doesn’t remove those burdens, but it makes them a little easier to bear.