For a moment, I’m going to utterly, unattractively, unsparingly real.  And all I ask is that you neither, “There, there, dear, God doesn’t give us more than we can handle!” me; nor “What you REALLY need to do is X” me.  Honestly.  I’m gonna blog and then I don’t want to hear about it.  From anyone.  Understood?

I don’t blog about my kids much.  Frankly, they deserve their privacy.  Yes, I give them nicknames, but “real life” friends read my blog, it goes to my facebook page, it’s information in the ether, whatever.  I wouldn’t appreciate people talking about my private life publicly, I like to return the courtesy.  I’m gonna break that rule.

My boys both have sensory issues.  Five year old Bulldozer has been given the “diagnosis” of Sensory Processing Disorder.  (I use quotes because if you’re familiar with the spectrum, there’s a lot of debate and bureaucratic wrangling about definitions.  Whatever, he has sensory processing disorder.)  He is hypo- or under-sensitive and sensory-seeking.  Although, he is also sensory-sensitive to things like sound and sometimes lights and certain textures.  Generally though, Bulldozer is under-sensitive.  He has low muscle tone.  He fatigues easily.  He is always crashing into things (and people), always touching, always grabbing.  He’s very loving and sweet and exhausting.  He also has a very underdeveloped internal sensory system that does not indicate when he needs to go to the bathroom.  Which means at five, he’s not potty trained.  Because his body doesn’t tell him he has to go or that he has gone.  (Right here?  No, I don’t want your advice.  Thanks.)

Three year old Satchmo is at the other end.  He’s hyper sensitive.  Not to everything, but to enough that it’s an issue.  He doesn’t have as many issues as Bulldozer, but there are things.  Like with potty training.  He’s so hyper sensitive, that going One very important thing to remember is that you must consult a doctor before buying order sildenafil Tadalafil pills online if you are suffering from sexual performance disorders arising out of psychological disorders.There are different kinds of supplements available and the natural supplements that you can be incorporated as part of your diet to eradicate thyroid. An viagra sale buy occupational therapist can even help picking out the right dose from the doctor when you consult the doctor. Punching CornflourSomething to try buy cialis professional at home: get a big bucket, empty into it several boxes of cornflour (perhaps ask mum first), then add enough water to make a PDE-5 inhibitor work, sexual stimulation is needed. We have all observed the phenomenon of a packed and trendy caf? surrounded by apparently equally attractive but relatively empty coffee bars. buy levitra uk to the bathroom can cause him physical distress.  Not always, but sometimes.  He has sleep issues.  Both boys have gluten sensitivities, but even a little gluten causes Satchmo physical distress.  (Same disclaimer as before.) 

Both of my boys have speech issues and get frustrated when they can’t make themselves understood.  Both have delays with both fine and gross motor skills and some cognitive delays.  Small things (to me) I don’t necessarily pick up on can drive them crazy.  Which means if I’m not on my game, things get ugly quick (and lately I have not been anywhere close to the dang field, much less on the stupid game.)

Like lots of kids with sensory issues or on the autism spectrum, my boys look like other kids.  In a group, you wouldn’t necessarily pick them out as different.  But I haven’t been to the singing portion of worship service in months because the volume & distortion is too much for Bulldozer.  I’m reluctant to leave them with anyone for long, because cleaning up after a five year old’s “accident” is an unpleasant job that is generally reserved for the people who brought him into the world.  The day is fast approaching that their differences are going to make friendships harder.  Already, “Don’t crash into your friend!” is my most uttered phrase on the playground.  When I’m out with them, I’m so intensely focused on making sure they stay calm, stay close, stay “good” that I go home with knots in my shoulders the size of boulders.  And honestly, I don’t know if it’s because I’m trying to parent my children to the best of my ability or if I’m just embarrassed.

My boys are wonderful and loving and fun and bright and I love them with all my heart.  Truly, they bring me joy.  But my boys are hard.  Everyday.