I’m all bereft of ideas to blog. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I’m bereft of energy to have a coherent series of thoughts.

So, I’m weaseling out of actual thought with this email sent by a friend. Everybody play!

The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to
determine your New first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dink y
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your
new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = l izard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your
new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

I am now Dorfus Wafflebrains. Besides the inside of a condom is coated with a numbing gel that delays best viagra pills ejaculation. It remove factors those are responsible for sildenafil tablet lack of libido in both the genders. It will hardly take few minutes. generic cialis soft secretworldchronicle.com Probably the most common factors that cause erectile issues in men. why not try these out levitra sale I’m married to Sloopy and we have four beautiful children: Dorky, Doombah, Goober and Cheesey.

Let’s have fun with politicians, shall we?

George W. Bush is: Fluffy Chucklefanny

Richard Cheney is: Goober Waffleshump

John McCain is: Farcus Battyface

Barack Obama: Dorfus Featherbutt

Hillary Clinton: Boobie Frickenlips

This is fun! Shall we continue? Well, I’m gonna anyway. Ahem.

Mike Huckabee: Funky Chuckleface

Ron Paul: Sloopy Dippinsprinkles

I think I figured out how I’ll vote in the primary next Tuesday. I’ll just convert all the candidates names, and who ever has the most accurate new name gets my vote. How’s that for an informed electorate?

(For anyone getting into a patriotic tizzy that I may not be taking my sacred right and duty to vote seriously, don’t worry. I’ve already decided to let my 3 year old pick for me.)