Our family life currently revolves around five therapy appointments a week, spread among 3 kids. Plus all the exercises and games and activities to reinforce the things learned in therapy. And we really need to add another one, but our budget and my sanity need a break. We’ll pick up the 6th session in a few months. I’m “coping” by repeatedly telling myself, “This will end. Bear with it a few months and it will be over.”
But what if it doesn’t end.
What if, for whatever reason, multiple therapies are required indefinitely. That is what life looks like many people. What if that’s life for our family, too? What if all those things we’re sacrificing “temporarily” are permanent sacrifices?
I’m slowly, painfully coming to grips with the fact that our life doesn’t look like I thought it would when we moved to Texas two years ago. The benefits aren’t as benefitty and there are drawbacks that I wasn’t expecting.
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This is the part that’s hard for me: accepting that “what is” and “what should be” never really meet. My ideal only lives in fairy land with the rest of the ideals and dreams, and I need to let it go. Our reality is in no way ideal, but I hope we’re growing stronger, more loving and wiser through the journey. But still, that ideal whispers in the night stories of “what should be.”
So what if this is our reality for the foreseeable future? What if this is where we need to be for the next year or two or more? Can we be flexible enough, wise enough to embrace this situation?
I don’t have the answers, but I’m becoming more comfortable with the questions.
4 responses to “But what if it doesn’t”
No no no no no. It will get better because I've been telling myself that for long enough I forget to wonder if this is the best there is.
So there.
But then I remember sometimes that my goals and dreams and desires aren't really what I'm here for. Pesky conscience.
Yeah, too often I am focused so much on what I'm waiting for (e.g. an end to all this therapy) that I forget the waiting is "real life." Sigh
April,
We are all praying that the end of therapy sessions will come soon. But in the mean time, be thankful that you have the means to help your children overcome their issues. And from a mother a little farther down the child rearing line, all too soon they will be grown up and on their own. Then you'll see, it was all worth it.
Thanks, Renee. I really do appreciate your prayers. The current struggle I'm having is "what if the therapy doesn't end." I.e. what if these are ongoing needs. I really have to readjust how I've been approaching this, because, at minimum, we've got another year of this. Probably longer. It really effects every aspect of our life and I have to change my perspective from "this is a temporary intervention and then we'll get back to 'normal.' to: "this is our normal."