A book review, of sorts

Last week we visited MTG’s family in Minnesota. I thought it was a great time to read The Bloggess’s book Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.

It was hilarious and sad and great. Read it.

Not enough of a review? Fine then. But first a bunch of disclaimers.

Who shouldn’t read this book:

  • If you don’t like bad language. (She is a salty girl. Not literally salty. Or maybe she is. I haven’t licked her or anything, so I couldn’t tell you.)
  • If you can’t handle weird. Because the book is just…. weird at times.
  • If you have issues with taxidermy.
  • If you have issues with dead animals in any form.
  • If the idea of Zombie Jesus gives you the vapors.
  • Wow, looking at this list, you’d think the book was all about death, but it isn’t.  Mostly. Except all the taxidermied animals. Is taxidermied a word?

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If 2 or more of these alert your internal sensors (or censors), skip this book. Pick up an Erma Bombeck book for your humor needs. But if you do read the book, then beware!

Where you shouldn’t read this book.

  • Next to your spouse who’s trying to sleep. Because you’ll try to laugh silently and shake the bed, waking up your spouse. That’s rude. Don’t do it.
  • In any public place if you don’t like how you look laughing. I’m not talking about the occasional giggle, I’m talking full out belly laughs–the kinds of snorts that produce bodily fluids.  I’ll admit, I’m not a pretty laugher.  But as I was with a bunch of non-confrontational Minnesotans, I knew I could roll on the floor kicking my legs in the air and they wouldn’t say anything. You should try it next time you meet a Minnesotan. Do something completely outrageous (sing show tunes at the top of your lungs, lick a chair, whatever!), they won’t say a thing. Or at most they’ll say “That’s different.” It’s like getting the guards in front of Buckingham palace to smile, but with hotdish and bars. It’ll be hours of fun, depending on your stamina.
  • Any place not near a bathroom. This mostly applies to women who’ve given birth as our bladders have been weakened by the tiny ninja moves of fetuses, because you laugh till you need to pee.  (What? Ninja fetus is totally a thing. They kick and punch and ruin your bladder muscles.)
  • Without kleenexes, because you’ll also cry.

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is a non-linear memoir. (So addendum to those who shouldn’t read it, if the idea of a “creative” timeline drives you nutty, skip it.) Jenny Lawson writes of growing up in small town West Texas, her interesting marriage to a very patient man, and battling a variety of illnesses. If that which does not kill us makes us stronger, she’s ready for Olympic weight lifting. I love her vulnerability and her humor. As a fellow child of West Texas, it felt like home.  Fun fact: we were most likely at Angelo State University together at some point. I didn’t know her then, probably. I have a horrible memory for people, but a great memory for random facts I read. I really should write down everyone I meet so I’ll remember them. Then everyone can be a random fact! The point is, I have a connection.

Anyway, I like the book, I love the Bloggess, go, read, laugh, cry. Just pee first and have kleenexes.

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