Recently, I dealt with someone whose behavior was totally perplexing. I couldn’t figure out why they would act the way they were, putting up roadblocks for no good reason and alienating people of good will. It seemed like sheer lunacy until I got a glimpse into their motivations: they were operating from a place of fear. Having had a bad experience in the past, they were determined never again to repeat it. Never mind the problems their paranoia is causing in the present.
Fear, while a helpful short term emotion when faced with the threat of immediate danger, is a lousy way to live. Fear distorts our reasoning and leads to bad decisions. Unfortunately, a lot of people mistake fear for prudence. Prudence being careful and wise in decision making. How can we know the difference? What is wisdom and what is paranoia?
To him who is in fear everything rustles.–Sophocles
Fear says, “Don’t trust.”
Prudence says, “Trust, but verify.”
Fear says, “Don’t risk.”
Prudence says “Don’t take unnecessary risks. Count the cost.”
Fear says, “Safety first! (And second, and third.)”
Prudence says, “Look before you leap.”
Fear is paralysing, always fighting yesterdays battles, and letting the object of your fear dictate your behavior. When we make decisions from fear, our goals revolve around avoiding outcomes. “How do I prevent X from happening?”If you can’t figure out exactly what someone is trying to accomplish with their actions, chances are they aren’t trying to accomplish anything. They are acting from a place of fear and trying to avoid some dreaded outcome.
When we operate out of prudence, wise decisions help us avoid pitfalls so that we can accomplish real, proactive goals. “My goal is to do X. These things could prevent that. How do I avoid those things and still do X?”
Fear that wakes you up and alerts you to danger is life saving. Fear that shackles you and second guesses every decision is life stealing. When we make our daily decisions from a place of fear, we allow fear to be our master and strip away our dreams for the promise of security. What fears are stealing your life?
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